Sometimes it seems things come in multiples. This time it might be a series of good things? Maybe?
Last week I wrote about my complicated relationship with food and the deep sorrow I was wading through; something I didn't include in that blog post was that I also wasn't feeling well. I had some significant gastrointestinal difficulties (the kind that required me to work from home because I'd need to scoot to the bathroom rather urgently) that lasted nearly a week, but no other symptoms. By the time I was writing that post, I'd started to become disenchanted with my "friendship" with food because it was clearly not capable of being supportive. Once my GI system recovered, I made a very exciting discovery: not only can I identify when I'm actually hungry, but I can identify what my body needs. This is a breakthrough for me, and this past Tuesday I gleefully made myself a chicken Caesar salad for supper.
The second really cool thing is how work things have settled out. Since purchasing this practice a year ago, I've struggled under the stresses of it. I knew the stresses were partially due to the fact that the previous owner decided to stay on for a year to help with the transition, and I am very grateful she did (it's been so very useful!). Now that she's fully retired, however, there's a pressure that's gone. I must have simply been accustomed to it, because I didn't really feel it for the weight it was until it didn't exist. And let me be clear - I really don't think she was putting any of that pressure on me. I believe it was just my own perception. But yesterday I actually managed to get three hours' worth of studying done, which is unheard of. Things are running so much more smoothly.
Finally, and this one's more writing-related, I think I'm finally understanding something about the creative process that I knew on an intellectual level and could spout of to the support of others but never allowed myself to apply personally. Each thing we create is a product or an expression of who we are in that moment. This means we can't pick up an old manuscript idea and finish it without it being an entirely different story than we'd first envisioned. I think I've told you about picking up my old notebooks and feeling as though I'd inherited the plot ideas of some old deceased relative that I barely knew... it's eerie. I'm not that person anymore. And although I've tried, I've struggled to make much progress on that 20-year-old manuscript idea. I don't think I've given myself permission for it to be different. I don't know if I'm actually ready to let it go - it's fairly precious to me. But I can see now that that's a viable option, too.
Wanna know something cool? I've actually got some cover art for it. At least, for book 2, which is the one I'm slowly picking away at. I ended up winning the cover art in a promotional giveaway. I would love to actually finish this book one day. But if I don't, it's okay. Here's the cover art, at least, for your enjoyment as well as mine.
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