One of the things I'm learning recently is how to create anchor points for myself. These anchors can be time intentionally spent with supportive people, but more often for me they are showing up as activities.
For instance, I've always believed I wouldn't survive living in a city, even one as small as Grande Prairie, without regular camping trips in the summer. Camping was the behaviour I'd picked up to help me enforce a boundary I didn't know I needed - retreating from availability to others. Until a few years ago, I was fully unaware of that need and only knew that I was desperate to go camping a few times each summer - preferably somewhere without cell service, like down at Two Lakes. The forced disconnect from my phone allowed Hubby and I to talk about bigger things like future plans and our thoughts on how life was going. Once I realised that it was the disconnection and time to reflect that I was craving, I didn't need camping anymore, I just needed an intentional activity to anchor myself to so that the retreat could happen more predictably. Oh and the self-discipline to be unavailable for an evening or a weekend. I'm still perfecting that skill.
Now that I've realised I don't need camping, just retreat, I've begun to create activities to anchor me to that principle. During the winter, I actually have a reminder in my phone set to nudge me towards a warm bubble bath once a week. During the summer, it's a mix between evening backyard fires (when there isn't a fire ban), weekend off-roading in our '93 (or is a '95?) Jeep YJ, or finding a spot to play in water. Usually we'd head off-road to the river, but with this year's restrictions on off-highway vehicles (in an attempt to manage fires) we've had to get creative. We've actually purchased an 8' soft-sided pool with an inflatable rim that, when filled, will come up to your shoulders if you're sitting down on your bum. Now we don't have much yard, I've often described it as being the size of a postage stamp, so it takes up nearly half the real estate. But I think it's worth it? As is the patch of dead grass we'll end up with. It's one more anchoring activity, and it's in our own yard which makes it so much more accessible.
One day, eventually, hopefully, maybe, we'll actually move out of our 1000 sq ft house and tiny yard into another home with a yard large enough to properly enjoy. Until then, this is working.
Oh, and another fun anchor for me is the time I'm setting aside for this blog. I'm going to try and stick to posting on my weekends, likely Sunday mornings. I think the key to my anchors might be the intentional time set aside. That's important to remember.
Also, off topic, I have a few of my older short stories (most of them unfinished) starting to go up on my website, in case you're curious. I've decided to start moving everything here from the various places I've tried posting over the years. You can find these unfinished/unpublished works in my Writings/Musings library.
