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Silliness (originally written Sept 5, 2022)

The thing about feeling deeply, about Being An empathetic sort, Is that grief visits daily. Like a good friend or A neighbour Who pops by on their way through

And then I end up feeling silly, because suddenly I’m crying in the middle Of my entryway As my husband heads out the door for his morning walk (I don’t cry small with silent tears) He raises a questioning eyebrow as he holds me Knowing It’s just another sudden visit by grief, But wondering at the specifics all the same

I’m looking forward to the day when I can stop feeling silly for - Missing my cat who’s been gone more than two years - Holding this year’s losses (and near losses) closely - Caring that others are experiencing heartache - Being sad that jamming my thumb actually hurts

Feeling things bigly doesn’t make me a silly person I know this logically So now to practice acting in accordance With my logic Until my emotions learn to stop blaming themselves

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